Cassius The Hedgehog and The Lacy Curtain.

This one time, right, Cassius thought, I well need some more accessories to jazz up my look. First of all he went to Topshop and he saw some pretty tasty looking head gear with sequins and loads of cool shiz like that. But then he saw the price tag and said 'I AIN'T GOT EIGHT SQUID TO SPEND ON A HEADBAND!' So he got outta there pretty sharpish. Next of all Cassius hit Primark, where the price tags were well reasonable but he said 'SLAVE LABOUR PROBAS MADE ALL THIS CRAZY LOOKING GEAR!' To clinch the deal, he saw some woman with too much foundation on sneeze all over the earrings he had been checking out, so he got outta there pretty sharpish and all.

Cassius isn't one to give up. No sireee. His little hedgehog feet were getting a bit tired and his bow tie was a bit skew iff but would that deter him? NO. NEVER. NOT CASSIUS THE HEDGEHOG. He kept going, plodding down the high street, dodging taxis and grumpy commuters with their mobile phones. After some time he came to Urban Outfitters, he went in and well liked what he saw. He was in the middles of running his spines over a well cool belt when he looked around at all the other people in the shop looking at belts and leggings and necklaces and caps and realised that they were all well cool and he felt that his bow tie was a bit skew iff and that he had no cool footwear to adorn his aching toes. Cassius looked at all the people around him and said 'MAN I FEEL LIKE A FOOL, I AIN'T COOL ENOUGH TO WEAR THIS BELT, I AIN'T EVEN GOT A WAIST!' So he got outta there pretty sharpish.

Poor Cassius. He was not a happy hedgehog. He had been traipsing round all day and had found nothing to wear. 'Maybe I should just stick with my bow tie,' said he and he shuffled off towards his hedgehog home. On the way Cassius walked along the river. He had a little look at his reflection and saw that whilst he was a handsome hedgehog, his spines were all messed up, his eyes had bags under and his bow tie was so skew iff, it was almost skew off. 'I ain't even been drinking gin today,' he said and his hedgehog tears dripped off his nose and splashed into the water. 'I'm just not cool enough or rich enough for any of the accessories I want to wear.'

Suddenly Cassius caught sight of something white caught in a tree on the river bank. He moved closer and saw that there was a lacy curtain caught in the branches. 'WIKKIDY WOAH,' though he and he pressed his feet up against the trunk, trying to shake it free. It was no use. Little Cassius was not strong enough. At this point he heard a voice above him.

'Alright Cassi Wassi?' said the voice.

'Who's there?' asked Cassius

'It's me, Roland the magpie!' the voice said.

'ROLAND! Ma man. Can ya do an old pal a favour and get that lacy curtain down for me? I'll give you a werthers original.' Cassius said.

'I don't even like werthers originals, and don't give me none of ya minty hail either you batty boy, I'd rather have some jelly tots.' replied Roland.

'Jelly tots, schmelly tots, I'll get you whatever sweets you want if you get me that lacy curtain.' Cassius told him.

'It's a deal my friend.' Roland said and he flew down from the tree with the lacy curtain. 'Whaddya want with this old thing anyways?'

'I need a new accessory and I reckon this is the thing.' Cassius replied and he tucked the lacy curtain into his bow tie to make this well cool cape.

'That is well rad Cassius, you are so cool.' Roland told him as he admired Cassius in his lacy curtain. 'Now get me my jelly tots or I'll put a crisp packet over your head.'

Once Cassius had given Roland his jelly tots he trotted back home, his lacy curtain flowing along behind him. 'I look proper sexy,' he said to himself, 'I'm never gonna feel sad ever again. This lacy curtain cape has made me whole and I'm gonna wear it every time I go to a party and people will say "woaaah Cassius, you is well rad" and I'll say "yeh innit."